Saturday, August 13, 2011

9 Ways You Know You Are At A Louisiana Wedding

So I was googling this morning to verify the correct spelling of Paran (french word for Godfather) & I came across this on an outdated blog called Fat Tony! Since Keith & I were married in New Orleans & have attended probably a dozen other weddings in the city I really thought this was fitting & had to share. Enjoy :)
BTW...Anything that is written in () below is my add in & tidbits to share.

Here are, in no particular order, some observations and nine ways you know you are at a Louisiana wedding?

People Wearing Saints Hats
Even though the New Orleans Saints have been a notoriously terrible football team for as long as I can remember, people in Louisiana still have a strong loyalty to them?even at weddings. (Ok...This was written in March of 2009...before the Saints won the SuperBowl & that is why we are such loyal fans!!!)

Strokin’ Gets The Biggest Reaction
If you have ever been to a social function in the South you know exactly who Clarence Carter is. And you know that when you hear Mr. Carter sing that chorus of “I be strokin’ to the East, I be strokin’ to the West?” that the crowd goes absolutely berserk.

The Groom Does Backflips (or Best man, best friends, distant relatives)
Get a drink or two in the crowd and clothes start coming off and wild dance moves start emitting from peoples bodies.
(I wondered if our wedding would be any different?it wasn’t! Before the end of the night my brother in law was doing the alligator & Shay's then boyfriend was backing it up on the band & was cut off from the bar!)

Girls Dance With No Shoes (Veronica I'm thought of you on this one!)
Whether you are at a high school dance or a wedding, if you are in the South, you can bet that half the females in attendance will not have shoes on. Maybe it’s just me, but that’s just gross. When I think about the floor we walk on, everything resorts back to poo. Hear me out on this one? The soles of your shoes touch the ground everywhere you go. You are bound to step in dog crap at some point?directly or indirectly. Then you walk inside the wedding reception hall. Then a girl with no shoes dances on the same floor where you just stepped. So she now has dog poo particles on her feet. Yuck, man. This is the same reason why I never eat anything that has fallen on the floor?five second rule or not.

By The End Of The Night, The Place Is Flooded Like Katrina
“Louisiana” and “rain” are synonymous in my mind so to have an outdoor wedding is verging on insanity. However, people still do it.
(Our wedding was indoors & no rain, but it did happen to fall on the coldest November day on record...Ok, maybe not, but it was freezing. By the time my bridesmaids & I entered the church to walk down the aisle we had a frozen glow & then there were the million pictures we had to take in front of the beautiful tree in the outdoor courtyard of the reception!)

Someone Refers To Himself As “Paran”
In Louisiana, a child’s Godfather is often called the “Paran," with a French accent. When I heard a guy refer to himself as Vanessa’s Paran I knew exactly what state of the Union I was in.

Two Or More Types Of Seafood Are On The Menu
I’m not talking about those cheesy, bland cocktail shrimp you find at other places?things like shrimp pasta, spicy seasoned fish, crab cakes, crawfish étouffée, and so on. If there are more than two of the above dishes on the menu, you may just be at a Louisiana wedding.

The Oldest Guy In Attendance Does A Somersault
One of the oldest guys gets down and does a few break dancing moves just after Strokin’ is finished. This can be wildly entertaining, but not nearly as crazy as an even older guy getting down and doing a full backwards somersault in the middle of the dance floor.

Everyone Says Y’all (This is so Georgia too)
I notice this more and more each time I go to the South now. I suppose I used to say it, but now that I’m not around it much, every time I hear someone say “y’all” it sticks out like Spinner riding trails with Aitken. Phrases heard throughout the weekend include:
“Y’all have a good trip.”
“Can I have y’alls attention?”
“Y’all get up here to catch this garter.”
“What would y’all like to drink?”
“Does this annoy the ever-living shit out of y’all too?”

1 comment:

Kim D.M. said...

Born & raised in New Orleans and found your quips about Southerners to be hilarious and I must admit oh so true !!!